"Repetition, repetition"

(a short retelling of today and thoughts through a mostly fictional conversation between God and I that may or may not be coherent)


--Scene 1: my room--

God: Jenny.

me: It's too early.....

God: Jenny.

me: Later. I need to get ready for church.


--Scene 2: driving to church--

me: hmmm i'm pretty smart. Good for me, smart. Yeah!

God: ahem.

me: oh yeah I should think about you now. Focus. Church, service, Jesus....


--Scene 3: Saddleback--

me: I serve. Good for me. Look what I do! And I'm good at this too! Sweet!

God: Excuse me? That's not the point...

me: Oh yeah... It's about them not me. That's s e r v i c e. Oh.

[later...]

lady picking up her child: Did you go to the service today?

me: No I didn't. Was it good?

lady: Yes! He spoke on pride... It was really good.

me: (to myself) pride... hmm...

[later than that...]

Beth Moore: "Often, the enemy will stir pride in us to keep strongholds from being broken. Humility is a necessary part of the mind-set for someone ready to be free."

me: There it is again. Pride... Humility... Uhh I think you've been teaching me enough about that stuff the past few months haven't you?

God: No...

Beth Moore: "God created us to worship. We all worship something...."

me: (auto-pilot response) Jesus.

Beth Moore: "... According to the definition of epairo, the focus of our worship can be determined by the gaze of our eyes--what or who is the object of our primary focus."

me: huh. Maybe not... What am I worshipping? Money? No. People? No.... hmmm.... Oh.

God: Remember?

me: ...myself... I worship myself.


--Scene 4: at home--

God: Jenny

me: Ugh... God, I miss my friends. I need to make friends outside of VU now.

God: Don't worry about it.


--Scene 5: the mall--

me: Ok I don't want to be materialistic... but I really want to get a new pair of jeans. These are really expensive, but I have money.

God: You think that just because you earned that money that its yours?

me: Oh. I guess sacrifice is more than a 10% tithe...


--Scene 6: Rock Harbor--

me: I think about myself a lot. Wow. I'm sorry.

God: You will fail countless times, but my grace won't run out.

[later...]

Mike Erre: And so in our culture we want life our way and we think we can have the best of the world and the best of Jesus without choosing. But Jesus tells us to carry our cross, and that means something called "self-denial" which means I give up the rights to my life.

me: Uh... that's familiar...

Mike Erre: To follow Jesus and deny ourselves we must lay down what we think we're entitled to and we must be radically abandoned.

me: ...sorry... I guess my "surrender all" comes up short.

God: Let me take care of you. Look up.

[girl approaches me at first to ask if I'm a "prayer person" but then stares and exclaims...]

girl: Jenny Heath!!!!

me: Oh my gosh! Nicole Ruiz!

[later Nicole, a friend from high school in northern CA, who I haven't seen or talked to for at least 3 years, and I talk after the service]

Nicole: Wow. This is crazy. A divine appointment for sure!

me: haha... So Mariners this Thurs.? I've been meaning to go there for a while.

Nicole: Sounds good, bye!


--Scene 7: at home--

God: I said I would take care of you, didn't I? Believe me. And listen.

me: I know. Wow. I'm pretty overwhelmed by you.

God: That's the point.


..... ctnd. .....





quote of the night:

"I'm going to go home tonight and have sex with my wife!" -Mike Erre