I like nighttime. It's so quiet and mysterious, sometimes scary but mostly wonderful. Tonight I'm listening to Sufjan in the living room with a light that is probably too dim and will make me wear glasses or something one day. I see silhouettes of power lines, rooftops, and palm trees outside against a purple night sky.

"Come On! Feel the Illinoise!"..... I remember the art assembly for the kids at school about Frank Lloyd Wright. I think I'll go get a book of his creations at the library soon.

There's a lesson plan waiting to be finished, my jacket is still on, and my feet are cold. My roommate is asleep and the only noises are the whir of the refigerator and the soft sounds of Sufjan. I keep glancing out the windows and wondering.

"Casimir Pulaski Day" .... Sarah is coming Friday. I've thought about her a lot lately. This morning this song played as I was drinking tea and reading before work. I stopped and the past 3 years rushed back to me. She played this song for me over a year ago when I visited her. I remember listening to the first few lines and quickly sobering when I heard, "when I found out you had cancer".

I have memories of going to San Francisco with her when her mom was in the hospital having surgery. One of my favorites is like this...

...we were staying in an apartment lent to her family in the castro and we took our Bibles and journals to a coffee shop down the street on a rainy day. I had hot apple cider as we sat on wood benches and listened to the Garden State soundtrack and rain falling on a quiet street....

Other times were not as idyllic. She was visiting me over a year and a half ago and we had just finished having a great afternoon at the beach when she got a call from her dad. The cancer had come back. I remember her saying through clenched teeth, "I FUCKING HATE CANCER."

"Tuesday night at the Bible study, we lift our hands and pray over your body, but nothing ever happens"

Sarah talks about God, faith, and prayer in a way that gives witness to how much she grew and transformed in the past few years.

I remember getting that call on a cold September morning. What Sarah said at the memorial was... well, read it... http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=2967090&blogID=174649860&Mytoken=4022D462-0A70-447E-8127CD64F6590D5222576530

Weird, she called me as I was writing this.

I'm not sure if I have a point in all this... I was just thinking about where I am and lately I've realized how transforming relationships are. She is one of those friends who change your life. She changed mine, her mom changed my mom's life. My best friend lost her mom and my mom lost her best friend.