iep #1

So I'm writing my first IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for an annual review tomorrow. For those of you who didn't know, IEPs are a huge deal in special ed. They are legal documents that are used to drive instruction and assessment for students with exceptional needs. They are one of the main reasons special ed. teachers have higher starting salaries than other teachers.

Anyway, I basically describe the student's current levels in all levels (academic, social, communication, etc.) and write goals for their areas of need. As I write and describe one of the most delightful students in my class, it nearly brings me to tears because of the sheer privilege of being his teacher--to be the one on the receiving end of that bright smile and hug every morning. This is certainly a human enterprise.

I knew this would happen.

It's been three weeks and I simply adore my students.

magnificent

I just ended my first full week of teaching. I have 8 wonderful students. Monday and Tuesday were kind of rough as far as the flow of the day, but once I reworked my lesson plan and allowed more space for flexibility and downtime, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were great.

My first IEP meeting is next Friday and I must say I'm pretty proud of myself for organizing it and getting the team together for it. But I found out that I have two triennial evaluations in October; which in the world of special education, is a very big deal. It consists of a battery of official psychological and cognitive skill assessments that decide what special education services the student receives. To give you an idea of what that means, the other SH teacher I work with told me that she has only had two triennials in her 5 yr career, and I have two tri's in my second month of teaching!

end of week 1!

Have you ever done something that just felt so right? I was so nervous before I started my job, then in the classroom it all felt so natural. It was as if my experience, education, and who I am came together in perfect harmony.

My students are fantastic and my colleagues are so supportive. I couldn't ask to teach in a better environment.

One thing I really love about special education is that while it's kind of a mixed bag, students will take care of each other. Today several students grasped the hands of their peers to help them walk through the halls. And I smiled when one of my students made himself door guardian to prevent wanderers from leaving. It's so great.

Now... planning, planning, and more planning. I know I'm going to make myself very sick of my computer. I'm off and running, especially with my first IEP being due in 15 days!

"It's the truth universally acknowledged, that the moment one area of your life starts going OK another part of it falls spectacularly to pieces." -Bridget Jones

Balance has always been a struggle for me. I've never been very successful at keeping all the plates spinning. Here I am at the beginning of a huge transition and my confidence is nil..... I've come to the uncomfortable realization that in the past year while my outer self has been thriving, my inner self has depreciated.

a quick tour

I'm beginning to feel much more confident and excited. I can do this! My classroom is really coming together. Enjoy a few of the pictures of the process below. Also if any of you have materials, organizational skills, creative leanings, or just some extra time... I'd love the help! :)

Welcome to Ms. Jenny's room 64!

the doorway to the classroom and the back wall

part of what will become the reading and listening center... definitely need more books and cd players...

Our tree of values! The apples have values written on them: kindness, fun, respect, learning, growth, as well as "try, try, try". Symbol representations of the values are in the works.

Focus wall and my lovely palm trees

Bookshelf and table for materials and student exploration activities

a view of the back portion of the class. yay for the sunrise!

And there's my domain: my desk in the back corner and my instructional podium. Note the fancy technology... woohoo!

a bit overwhelmed...

I was in the midst of creating another tree in my classroom when I finally had to leave because my head was beginning to spin.

Sidenote: I have an amazing classroom with new carpet, lots of space, and lots of natural light. The beginnings of a great learning space! My theme (for the time being) is trees because trees are such a great symbol of growth. There are so many different kinds of trees, some grow quickly, some more slowly, but they all bear fruit and add to their environment.

That being said, one of my favorite ways to avoid work, fear, or anything really is to tap into my creative outlets. Hence my blogging when I should be doing some classroom planning. So yesterday the fruits of my labor are shown here with my lovely palm trees.

Today I made an apple tree, the apples will show our class values. Pretty much it's all a safe way for me to do something while actually doing nothing.

I really need to step up and get my act together. I've been working for this for so long and it's finally here... a very strange feeling. It's so much more pressure and I feel so nervous. The biggest knot in my stomach comes from the feeling that I'm in this alone. There's no one there to hold my hand through this process. My parents and my brother are my biggest fans and support me so much, but it feels like they're in another world up in northern california. Adulthood sucks sometimes.

my brother is hilarious!

Jpisms:Random sayings:

“What if I marry a hunchback?” (Totally out of the blue)

“It’s all for God” (To Todd at Breakaway)

“Did I just eat a snail?”

“Are snails eatable?”

Jim Morrison and the Doors- JP asked- they were called- “The Whores?” What.

“Why don’t you carry a knife?” (To Ashton- when she was scared of the streets)

“What about some blood?” (To the waiter- when asked what he wanted to drink)


JP went out by himself in Paris- when asked where he was- he said: “ I checked all of the usual places.” (Mr. independent)

moving on......

As many of you probably know, I got a teaching job for the fall! I'm so stoked!!! Well, as I become a professional in the field, I decided to branch out as far as blogging goes and create a blog documenting my experiences and journey in my new career as well as my observations in the field. I would love to incorporate some research and valuable information for others in the field, but for now it's my little pedestrian blog... Notes on being "special". :)

opportunity knocks...

Alright so I started applying for teaching positions a week ago... I had my first interview yesterday. It was definitely intense. The questions they asked me were paragraphs. For instance, In light of universal design and differentiated instruction; which instructional strategies would you implement into the classroom? Ummm I feel stupid...

Nevertheless I did well enough to be called back for round 2 tomorrow! Another district called me for an interview.

Needless to say, things are going very well in my search for a job, even in this economy.

quote of the day...

Ashton on excessively full reusable grocery bags, "Yeah you're saving the earth, but you're getting a hernia doing it!"

Good times.

jobs, jobs, jobs

Alright I'm finally putting my fears aside and taking this applying for a teaching position seriously. I don't have my credential yet, but I'm internship eligible. I haven't been seeking as voraciously as I should be since I've been so afraid of failing. But I serve a God who is faithful and has called me into this. He will make a way and I truly believe that.

Please pray for me.... oh man...

you're so white.

Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

This list is so hilarious! The blog links are even better... It's funny because most of them that I find in conversations and even the blogs of other white people. Of course I should include the disclaimer that this blog mainly applies to white people who are on the younger more liberal side of society...

insufficient

There was a moment tonight when I was outside replacing circuit breakers with my sister. As she held her cell phone up as a source of light, I shocked myself and started crying and realized I don't want to be a big girl anymore. I want help, I need it.

I can't do this by myself.


And that realization, while humbling, makes me feel so liberated.

be aware

It's World Autism Awareness Day.



This video is so fascinating because it is a first-hand perspective. Amanda Baggs' experience is not shared by everyone who has autism, it has been said, "When you meet one person with autism... you've met one person with autism." Anyway, the current rate of autism is 1 in 150 children are diagnosed.

Australia's Sprite truth hunters.... a new favorite

Today was so amazing, I can't even explain it.

God speaks in whispers and in silences, but have you ever felt like he uses a megaphone?

I am overwhelmed and challenged.

The things he does.... his ways are mysterious....

Things work together, random occurrences.

my desktop

look what i can do!

yeah, i have clever friends who teach me how to do cool stuff.

the thing about moving is...... it's so stressful..... ugh.

relentless time and motion

I'm so aware of so many things that need to be done.... a massive report due Thurs., emails to return, houses to look at, moving, a room that needs to cleaned desperately, studying, phone calls yet to be made, plans to be made.... I feel so overwhelmed in this mess of responsibility and life.

Then for the first time today I'm sitting in peace. The TV is off, roommates are in bed.... it's just me in the semi-darkness and the ticking of a far off clock.... an object that usually causes me a great deal of stress is suddenly a soothing lullaby.

So I'll just sit in this quiet and be......

Unusual things

I've been playing Guitar Hero for 3 weekends in a row.

I'm moving in with my sister.

Leadership roles have found me.

Listening to a lot of Queen.

Somehow I became a person others look up to.

I went on a date this morning.

I'm actually working on the take-home midterm at home during spring break.

the space between

I feel like I'm in a strange place... it must be that whole transition into post-college adulthood thing...

Living far from people who are close to my heart is hard. At times I wonder if some relationships are fading or are simply straining across the space. At other times I feel so alone in this strange new stage of life. I crave home. I crave community. I crave the familiar. I crave love.

I went on a retreat this weekend with my fellow Rock Harbor Youth middle school leaders. It was lovely. A safe place opened up and I opened my eyes to a large group of genuine people who are with me in this and give me a kind of mutual support in this vulnerability. Now, it's just up to me to bring my whole self into budding friendships instead of putting up defenses and running away.

I am deeply thankful for what God is up to and for what he has in store for me.

rude and sexist... how appealing

In the context of a long stupid barrage of personal attacks from Mr. X, this is my favorite quote from an online conversation. It's quite the gem:

"l can respect Jenny, that's my point, Jenny disaides her one destiny, she can be different tomorrow. The christen Jenny didn't convince me at all.

"But your cute so you get's away with it ;)"

My favorite part is that obnoxious little winking face after a veiled insult. Basically, you are dumb and your faith is dumb, but it's ok because you're cute. I think talking to Mr. X further would be a waste of time after this conversation.

bad days happen

Work usually is great. I don't have many "bad" days. Sure, it's difficult as would be expected, but nothing too crazy.

I think the situations were just right today to create... the perfect storm.

After talking about never being out more than 9 times in her 15 yr career on Wed., the teacher I work with was struck ill and could not come into work on Thurs. or Fri. Sick irony. Yesterday was tough. No sub. due to the late notice so 2 other aides and I ran the class. No big deal, except it really throws the kids off. Then we had a sub. today, well more like a body who happens to hold a sub. license (the guy did nothing all day and barely uttered 10 words). So I got to play teacher for 2 days... yay?

Well there are 2 students that are kind of high maintenance, as far as behavior and attention needed. One has a hot and cold relationship with me related to the fact that I resemble his mom and share her first name (Jennifer), so whatever is going on at home is mirrored at school. Fun.

Then the other student is always on my heart, but is quite a handful. Today I taught the lesson and the poor guy was left on timeout the entire time.... sidenote: in addition to having his school environment being different, he's been staying with an aunt and hasn't been sleeping well... so after group time the students are dismissed to lunch when the little guy jumps up with a red face and crying. He runs for me and grabs me ripping and grabbing at my clothes and trying to pull me down, etc. I'm mostly confused because I've never seen him like this. I appeal to the 6' 8" sub. for help, but to no avail... he just watches bemusedly.

eskimo village to sue over global warming

This story is so great... in an ironic kind of sad way I suppose....

in other news:

the best store bought salsa is officially Trader Joe's Especial salsa and my coworkers and I discovered this...

We figured out that the days of the week have connections to the solar system... it comes from the pagan roots of many of our languages. Except for the romance languages, that decided to change Sunday to different variations of the Lord's Day... Dieu, Dios... Dimanche, Domingo...My hypothesis is that Earth is our planet and thus not in the sky from our perspective so it doesn't make sense to use it for days of the week and Uranus, Neptune, and the dwarf planet (formerly known as Pluto) are so far away that they could not be detected when this week system was created. Just some fun facts for you...

my uncle is better than yours....

So my cousin and my uncle are going to be on that new show tonight... My Dad is Better Than Yours or whatever... So stoked! haha Go André and Corey!

l'amour est doux

Wake me up from this winter. I've spent far too much time living in cold and hunger. You've seen me fumble in this dark tundra with numb fingers grasping at scraps with my brothers and sisters. We long for something that satisfies longer than these bits of food we find. Still the ache doesn't go away and our souls grumble with hunger.

This wearying hunger has made my eyes go dark. I can't see the difference between food and poison.

Patiently you call above the roar of the wind as you see me pathetically struggling so near to your haven.... whatever pain you have i take as mine if you'll let me love you

Now I see everything is rooted in this. If only I would have turned toward you earlier. There's no past, there's only this moment. Laying motionless in this place I smell the spices of your table. Cardamom, ginger, cinnamon.... I give myself over, as I let go, you carry me to your table. Only there will I be satisfied. Only there can I know its meaning.

Why do we continue feasting on scraps when His banquet is freely given to us?

and the internet just got a little bit better...

yesssss!

p.s. I love you

That's for Carrie....

anyway I am such a nerd. I had an especially nerdly moment when I was walking back to class from a break and I peered into another class in session where I saw the entire class turned around to listen to their professor who had seated himself on the back table amongst them. As I walked I smiled and thought, "O, these sacred halls of learning..."

The funny thing is that I really do think of school with that reverence often.... yeah I know. I carry a lunch box now. I definitely know what you're thinking.

hallmark rejects...

Friendship is...

having it be okay to be boring on a Saturday night, or

having a friend tell you not to risk your virginity and heart...

Friendship. The one ship you can't sink.

hahaha 

I love truth-tellers. They're priceless friends. 

the embarrassing blog

Now for something pointlessly amusing, at least to me. Don't ask questions, just enjoy. Embarrassing photos I found...

here i am

"live freely  in light of who you already are."

Art is an important part of who I am, though it remains hidden. In my room and the garage at home there are samples of creations from high school and college. I came across the piece below and remembered how much I enjoyed making it. There's one that I'm especially proud of (not pictured here)

Today I was at work and I spent my lunch break finishing a pencil drawing of a monarch butterfly that I was drawing from some children's book. I miss that. Art was the one extracurricular activity that I really excelled at when I was young and never quit. (Unlike softball, clarinet, gymnastics, crew.... )

I miss art and acting. Two pieces of who I am that are nearly forgotten. But Valentine's day is coming and it's one more opportunity to create and express beauty.

family time

It's a great feeling to be in a home with a family. Tonight I was at my so-cal family's house for about 6 hours. Looking at Alec's transformers, styling Emma's hair, drinking tea, and getting gourmet cooking lessons. Their Dad is an amazing chef! I had my own private "cooking with John" lesson. He made tapenade, tzatziki sauce, feta with spices, kale, asparagus, and avocado, which he served with sprouts and sprouted grain tortillas. Not your average Taco Tuesday, it was amazing! I sat with their parents and talked about life. Then I read to the kids in bed. I love feeling like a part of a family, if only distantly.

2 thoughts:

      
I went to my friend Julie's wedding Sat. Wow, my first friend to be married! And I caught the bouquet! It's never happened before. I was fairly excited and consider it a good omen. Who knows... haha

I never thought I'd actually hear someone say to me after I almost bumped into them, "No problem... you can bump into me any time". Um yikes man at Trader Joe's. I have a fear of being hit on or looked at by men... It makes the first thought problematic I suppose.

and then the rain came...

compass....ion

Love seems so inexplicable, yet we all think we know what that miracle is. Then there is love's sister, compassion. What is compassion? So often it is thought to be sympathy, pity, or some other cheap thing that is thought to resemble compassion.

Think of the etymology of this word alone. Take the ending, "passion," which means suffering or barely containable emotion. With the beginning "com" which means with, together, jointly. So literally this word means suffering with someone, not merely to help someone or do something for someone.

Sitting with someone in pain, mourning with those who mourn, walking with someone just to understand who they are.

The gravity of this epic love....

This sort of love changes everyone involved. One cannot be compassionate or show compassion without being inalterably changed. And the one who accepts is changed when they are touched by this love.

Words escape me when I think of this word. I see a face with eyes filled with tenderness intently looking at the beheld, fingers reaching through darkness, arms catching the fallen, a guide-the compass-leading us home.

This is how our Christ looks at us, even in the most despicable sin and darkest night of the soul.

Compassion necessitated my existence and is the reason I continue to exist. I believe this is true of all of God's beloved.

Brennan Manning describes that compassion is not something of milk, it is meat for mature believers. It takes a great deal of courage, a willingness to risk, and a great deal of imagination. Indiscriminate compassion is what we are called to. A rose cannot withhold its beauty nor can a tree withhold its shade from certain people, not even the man coming with an ax to chop it down.

"What makes the Kingdom come is heartfelt compassion. It is the way that the lordship of Jesus over your life takes. It is a way of tenderness that knows no frontiers, no labels, no penalizing..... You'll never be more like Christ, never, than when you're choked with compassion over the tenderness of others. Compassion is the axis of the Christian moral revolution, it is the sign by which you're going to be known as a follower of Jesus. My prayer for you is that you will be graced with the courage, the wisdom, the maturity, the willingness to risk, the imagination, and the compassion to set free the song that now sleeps in the wounded flesh of a brother or a sister" -Manning

l-o-v-e

the platonic debacle

4 years... no 4 and a half? my friend and confidante...

we were always doomed to this long goodbye. this twilight of friendship. i've been pulling away, taking you to shallow waters. soon there will be no place for you here. and this evasion, this feigned apathy and cool nature is my way of saying goodbye.

no harry and sally. never. as the phone calls and emails begin to dwindle. you will always be that friend who taught me. the one who walked with me all that time. and i'll always love you for that. i'll try to be graceful as i move away.

the days of late night coffee talks are ending. one day you will come over to my nest for a family dinner, we will reminisce about those good old days and make petty adult chitchat over dessert and coffee while the kids crawl around our feet.

memories of ice and snow