in other news

Well it's late, I'm bored, I miss my friends, and the chore of packing confronts me so looks like a good time to write a blog.

I'm going to Lake Tahoe with my fam tomorrow morning for the new year. This is great because

a. there's snow and I like snow
b. I like the mountains and Tahoe's beautiful
c. there's no internet at the cabin so I will read and play games rather than wasting time on the internet searching for some inane thing like pictures of Poland
d. fire in the fireplace on cold nights
e. rootbeer, newcastle beer, red wine, and sparkling wine are coming with us
f. we'll watch Narnia with snow outside
g. it's quiet and peaceful so I'll have a good environment to consider 2006 and prepare for 2007

I must remember to bring some tea... Anyway, I will definitely need to process this year as I have all the others. 2005 was a hard year, full of loss and difficulties. 2006 started with more of the same but toward the end hope grew as prayers that go back 5 and 10 years were answered. I'll make a list of significant 2006 events and pray for 2007. I have a feeling 2007 will exceed my expectations and will be my best year yet!


"I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
I spread out my hands to you;
I thirst for you like a parched land."

(Psalm 143:5-6)

a ridiculous dialogue

After a day of shopping and buying things that women wear (example: high heel shoes) as opposed to most of my clothes that appear to have been lifted from a 15 year old's closet (example: vans with pink elephants printed on them), the following conversation took place.

Scene: Me folding clothes in the laundry room, wearing pajama pants and my new red shirt. Enter Ashton in pjs...

me: (sheepishly) oh hi... uhm... I just wanted to wear my new shirt for a while. I like it. (pause) It's like the only... sexy piece of clothing I own.
her: Yeah a long red sweater....

An unorthodox Christmas

Christmastime in a few words and pictures:

The eighth? ninth? annual gingerbread house tradition.... Well technically graham cracker constructions...
1997? maybe 1998








2004













and 2006















Ashton's castle and moat
J.P.'s same creation that he slaps together in 5 minutes every year. This year he says its "Santa's workshop"... that's the secondary name for it, but I'd offend people if I wrote the primary name here...

Interesting... then and now














































This year's creation... It's a tribute to my dad and the family business of owning trailer parks... excuse me, manufactured housing developments... haha

Then we bowled, got kicked out of the bowling alley for ordering pizza to lanes 7 and 8, and enjoyed pizza in the parking lot as well as poor dancing. Then it was time for supermarket games...











Then off to the Grandparent's. It started with Ash, J.P., Grandpa, Grandma, and I having honey-baked ham and a 30 min. feast of stovetop stuffing, ready-made mashed potatoes, and rice a roni that Ash and I picked up. It was low maintenance and delightful! There was....

kindness to animals














...and cruelty to animals

































sweets,















lots of sweets


















































mmm and rootbeer tasting...

Good: Frostie's, Big Bear
Bad: Rat Bastard, Captain Eli's, Sioux City




















Very interesting times...

I learned my mom is an incredible woman, a very brave and wise diplomat. I learned a lot about family hostilities and keeping peace. I learned that you can't change people, but you can change the way you act and respond to things.

Presently I'm enjoying Muppet Christmas Carol with a glass of Pine Ridge chardonnay.

Dec. 26th thoughts

Well Christmas was weird this year. It's over now, but I can't help thinking, that was it?

Many of our traditions fell through... even reading the Christmas story.

I think I'll have a reading by myself. I need to be alone with him for a while. Changes are happening--I'm not sure how to process them. And tonight I can't help wondering why I let guys hurt me.

my December drive

I said bye to all the kids and fellow educators at school today. I'll miss them during these next 2 weeks. Especially little Emma. Her parents brought me another gift today, a whole bunch of pictures of Emma and me. I was talking to Cole (a red-headed leprechaun-like kid in her class) about the break and he asked me, "Who's going to push Emma?" We had a great game of duck duck goose though today! And then I drove.....


A different thought for each moment as time passed in L.A. traffic...

...what an incredible life...transformation...true self...adventure...beauty...blessing...providence...beloved....

Inching slowly out of southern California
The bleak L.A. urban landscape fades away.
Twisting with fellow travelers on the traditional Christmas pilgrimage home.

Daylight fades over the grapevine,
blue shades change on stout mountains,
raw, rugged winter beauty.

Thick fog sweeps over the hills onto the freeway;
at first rolling innocently over car roofs.
Then over a hill a wall of cloud looms hundreds of feet high.

That great snakelike cloud swallowed all of us,
even the sun vanished and darkness enveloped our path.
Long beams of headlights shine and flash through thick darkness.

On the other side of the grapevine the cloud spit us out
A small sliver of moon shows through slender fingers of clouds.
Streams of red and white can be seen for miles rushing north and south.

Cars filled with presents and luggage strapped to roofs,
the faces of sleeping children lit by the glow of the dashboard appear in passing windows,
as burnt-out parents slump in their seats silently driving.

Strange lights make the clouds glow past the hills,
sepulchral orchards fly past as they sleep in the ghostly white light.
Suddenly the air smells like wintery northern California--wood, fire, dirt, ice.

Pine trees peak over freeway walls to welcome travelers to the city of trees.
Sacramento glows in its pale yellow light,
it's a little city playing pretend that it's a big city.

On the left the little yellow bridge blinks red air traffic lights,
old town Sac glows with Christmas lights lining the cobbled streets,
and that tacky apartment building looms on the right with its poor Asian roof imitation.

Weaving in and out of cars reaching speeds of 80 and 90 to get home.
Exiting past a bbq restaurant and an RV dealership into Roseville.
Driving past neighborhoods of high school friends.

Oak trees tell me I'm finally in Granite Bay,
as does the audible rumbling of the regional car majority of SUVs and trucks.
Winding down the tree-lined, manicured suburban road back home.


After 8 hours and over 450 miles I was at the Shotwells for fondue and wine. It's good to be home. I was welcomed very unusually by one of Sarah's best friends who I knew in high school. She observed how much I had changed since high school. She said, "You are so pretty. I mean you were pretty in high school, but you just grew into your beauty..." That was one of the greatest compliments I've received in a long time, but I appreciated it for different reasons than one may think--mainly owing to one of my favorite novels by Robin McKinley.

goodbyes

So much to think about....

...I saw Carrie for the last time tonight (until she returns in late April) and it makes me sad. I hate saying goodbye. She will have an amazing time, I know, and I guess I'll just have to settle for reports and updates through email and blogs. But wow, will I miss her a hell of a lot. A year ago she was spending the new year at my house, this year she'll be in Myanmar! I love Carrie Joann Dievendorf!

...Graduation and adulthood to process

...And new things, things that make me anxious to think about....

Processing, that's what long solitary roadtrips are for, right?

Oh yeah I'll be driving Bubba back to Granite Bay tomorrow afternoon. I'm going home for the holidays full of bittersweet thoughts and a twisted stomach. But as someone much wiser than me once said, part of growth and being alone is learning that you are never really alone. Thanks Dogterom.

Now deep breath.... and go.

o tannenbaum

My first picture from my house.


Christmas is coming. Yay!

Adventures in adulthood

Sometimes I feel like I'm a runaway kid pretending to be a grown-up and I look around to see if anyone's caught me.

Nope not yet.

Today was my first Monday going to work from my new home and it is very different from going to work from the dorms. Empty room, MUCH colder, no shower schedule, no cafeteria, extra time to watch the news.... Weird.

School (work) went well. Emma's two front teeth are both gone now and she's so cute! I want her to sing that song... all I want for Christhmasth isth my two front teeth... Oh and by the way if anyone is in the C.M. area tomorrow you should stop by at 10:30 for my Christmas musical review in the kindergarten show. I'm sitting on the corner of the stage next to Emma. Yeah it's awkward up there. haha

I stopped by Trader Joe's before going home and wandered around. I keep doing that in stores, it's like I get lost or something. Anyway here are 2 fun things about being an adult:

a. Making random meals. Tonight for example, I made a burrito using black beans, tostitos salsa, and cheese microwaved and put inside a grilled tortilla... surprisingly delicious.

b. Drinking milk from the carton.

Food is so expensive! I feel like I might be eating Taco Bell more. 89 cents for dinner, just don't tell me what I'm actually eating. That's bleak.

And now I'm going to enjoy my evening with art, tea, and more tylenol cold medicine

bath mat

So after a really amazing weekend I came home to my new place for the first time tonight.

This is weird, very weird.

I also made a pitstop at Target and stared at bath mats for about half an hour. Who knew it would be that hard to choose one. Sheesh. (I bought a burgundy one) While I was there it dawned on me how powerful materialism is.

It's nice to not be doing schoolwork tonight. Unfortunately it is NOT nice to have a cold... I sound horrible!

But good news, Little Miss Sunshine comes out on Tues!

the UN

I was looking at the news this evening and this headline caught my attention:

The U.N. approves disabled convention
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/12/13/un.disabled.ap/index.html

IN BRIEF:
"The convention advocates keeping the disabled in their communities rather than removing them and educating them separately as many countries do.

"It guarantees that the disabled have the inherent right to life on an equal basis with the able-bodied and requires countries to prohibit discrimination on the basis of disability and guarantee equal legal protection. Countries must also ensure the equal right of the disabled to own and inherit property, to control their financial affairs, and to privacy over their personal lives."

Cultures of the past and even in certain regions currently kill the weak among them. The weak are considered unimportant and either despised or forgotten. And especially an individual who is not only weak, but "different" will be singled out for injustice. Take for instance our brothers and sisters suffering in Vietnam of horrendous birth defects as a result of America's use of agent orange in the Vietnam War who are likely to be killed or abandoned by their parents.

Certainly that example is extreme, but there is still injustice in America. You may not find people openly killing or abandoning, although those things happen often enough, but the presence and voice of people with disabilities is certainly diminished here. The three most common responses of the general population to people with disabilities are apathy, fear, or patronization. It bothers me when I hear "Oh, well that's a shame." Especially when they are referring to my Emma and then add a comment about how she's so beautiful despite her cerebral palsy and crippled hand. Those things are part of her, and it's unfair to her to wonder what if....

Each person should be accepted and valued for who they are no matter what state that who is in. We all share the imago dei. It is not given to some and withheld from others. One night we were discussing the imago dei in Beauty and the Christian Life and I was.... bothered... when someone theorized aloud that they didn't know if people who have severe disabilities share the imago dei. That's ugly. The imago dei is the foundation for my theology and the way I value and treat other people, and thus the reason I care about news such as this.


Quotes I liked from the article...

"Attitudes need to change. Societies need to be more inclusive and accessible and persons with disabilities need to be more empowered." -New Zealand's U.N. Ambassador Don MacKay

"The disabled do not see themselves as being limited in life by their circumstances, so neither should we. We must respect people with disabilities as equals, exercising the same fundamental rights under the law." -General Assembly President Sheikha Haya Rashed Al Khalifa





In other news (haha I like puns)....
I started moving into my new house today. And this is my last night living with my roommates Jessica and Jenna. It's sad, espcecially since my space is nearly empty. We just listened to "Good riddance" by Green Day...

WE are the CHAMPIONS

I am now a college graduate and I'm listening to Queen as my first act of celebration.

I really want to dump lecture notes off the 3rd floor, but they all have my name on them and thus I'd be fined. Dang it!

But good news Ashton bought me a Godiva martini shaker on behalf of my parents. Why does she always buy me alcohol related gifts? Oh well.

my father's daughter

Yesterday I was running around school in a short-sleeved shirt and jeans and a girl said to me, "Aren't you cold? You're making me cold just looking at you." (It was maybe 60 degrees or something, not super cold.) But the thought struck me that I'm becoming my father. Here's why....

My dad rarely wears anything more than his trademark jeans and a black t-shirt until it gets truly cold because he declares he isn't cold. Maybe I'm developing his metabolism or ability to retain body heat. Who knows. So here's my top ten reasons why I am my father's daughter:

10. Ability to stand slight dips in temperature with short sleeves (to a point of course)

9. We're weird












8. Shared obsession with Parisian tea










7. Same weird sense of humor that is usually more funny to us than anyone else.

6. We are wine conossieurs.... well wanna-bes in my case












5. Enjoy intellectual challenges and pursuits

4. Same crazy curly hair










3. We like history













2. We're pensive introverts












1. We share the ever attractive Heath mystique...










Case closed.

Beware world.... I am becoming more like my father every day to my mother's horror. haha It explains the lack of skill at sports and awkward dance moves....

If any of you notice a startling pattern of my wearing black t-shirts please stage an intervention!

I love you Padre!

dumb car part 2

Concrete proof why suburbans suck:


Bubba got a little close to a white impala in a SLO parking garage


I found out it's a rental car, so hopefully it'll be ok. eesh! This car and I are not getting along.

Stupid boys

I was just out at a birthday dinner and this guy I really don't know took the liberty of making fun of me. I finally was like you don't even know me and you're mocking me?

I have to have talked to you at least 5 times for you to have the right to tease me because if not I'll just be annoyed and think you're an idiot.

Because I am so serious!.....




......Oh wait.....










I think I have #4 of Carrie's "how-to" list down

the drive home

The dark windy 101 is fun to drive, but dangerous especially when a certain driver wants to glance at the constellations that are clear and bright in the dark coastal hills. I raced a train. I think I won.

But for now I'm done speeding. I think I'll slow down and sleep.

philosophy

I went to a women's philosophy meeting this morning with Sarah. We discussed Simone Weil, her piece "The Needs of the Soul" in particular. It was so great!

Philosophy is such an interesting subject, I love critiquing philosophies especially and also evaluating them in the context of the time and place they were established and comparing philosophers to one another.

I intend to read more of Simone Weil, she was a Christian philosopher in France in the 1940s during which time that postmodern philosophy was in vogue in the cafes. Her philosophy is very distinct from those of her era and they are also unique as Christian philosophies because there is such an affirmation of the physical nature of life, which is often diminished by most Christians.

Anyway I wish I had a women's philosophy group to meet with! Not to criticize my own gender, because there are some very thoughtful intellectual females, but it seems like so many women in American culture are more familiar with the philosophy makeup line than with the academic subject. Of course I exclude my brilliant friends from that previous statement, and if any of you want to create such a group you know who to talk to.

the "heath love machine"

...apparently a family characteristic according to Uncle Tim...

Anyway, my brother asked a girl from his class to his first dance!!! I wish I could have been there! Here are pictures of my handsome brother and his lovely date Kirsten:

rainy day fun

Well I'm sitting in Uptown, a snooty SLO coffee shop "home of the velvet foam"... I'm doing reading and studying. And, well, I took a break for a FUN time...hehe... Enjoy:

oasis

Tired and thirsty she started her journey. Through heinous traffic she slowly progressed through L.A. Sleep threatened to take her every few minutes on her uneventful drive, but she fought with the urge because she knew she was driving a killing machine (aka suburban). Finally she was on the 101 and took time to glance around her at beautiful mountains and stunning cumulonumbus clouds. Still tired and desparate for a drink and something to eat she continued past arguably the most breathtakingly beautiful stretch of freeway where it curves by the blue-green ocean. Clouds stretched out and were lit up by colorful light. On she drove and suddenly hopeful she exited the highway longing for an oasis. Through pouring rain she saw it. A beacon of hope.... Starbucks.... With vanilla latte and cranberry orange scone in hand her spirits were revived and she joyfully continued her dark, wet journey to see the ying to her yang.