I predict that I will cry and laugh more this week than any other week in my life thus far. Today the tears started after saying goodbye to two friends I won't see again for a long time and watching "Beaches" with two other friends.

she would...

yes, I would post a clip of shadowlands.

I've been thinking about that scene lately and today in particular when I was trying to justify my belief that relationships are the most important investment in life to a friend who didn't understand why I'd allow myself to be hurt in making myself so vulnerable through such investments. This person believes people will always hurt and leave you or they won't love you back. I conceded that yes, love requires risk and you'll probably be hurt. They responded by saying, "people can't hurt you if you don't let them."

Yeah I guess I could try to stay safe. We all know how to do that. Hide, don't let anyone in and if you do don't ever let them see anything real.

But I choose to invest wholeheartedly into the people who will be close to me. They will learn me and I will learn them. I'll certainly be vulnerable and I will inevitably be hurt, but I'm willing to accept that.

quiet changes

There were no earthquakes or storms, but somehow this week changed me...

I'm having a hard time seeing clearly how it changed me through this veil, but I know I grew and something happened and is happening.

Some major and minor catalysts and products of change from the past week or so...


-talked to a guy and was able to finally forgive him and myself

-made a commitment and followed through even though it resulted in adding to end of the week exhaustion and the loss of my voice

-reconciled in humility when I wanted to have an entitlement to being offended and right in the situation

-discovering that my words meant something to people and were remembered

-fresh excitement and hope

-awareness of love

-awareness of dependence

-awareness of answered prayers

-recognition of God's listening ear

-sharing hearts with a dear friend over yogurt

-acted like an adult

-reality checks

-satisfied

-lots of joy; especially in one of my favorite moments... Luis (my 3rd grader who speaks hardly any english) dancing with the quirkiest moves ever in the middle of a circle of cheering peers and bouncing puppets made of pool noodles and pipe cleaners

-lots of prayer

-claiming freedom

-peace and so much gratitude in and for this season

-being a part of something bigger

-falling deeper in love with Him

-His beloved


Life is really great. God is doing things. I'm ready to graduate and I'm expecting great things.