an interior monologue

Just some background... So I haven't been to the gym in a long time... Not quite sure when I last went. Anyway, I finally got a membership at 24 down here and at a gym I had never been to before. The following is some excerpts of my internal dialogue from my visit:

"Ok, I look pretty good. I'm ready to go!"

[Walking into the workout room] "Wow, there are a lot of people here.... Ok quick go get on a machine! Look like you know what you're doing here!.... Treadmill, a classic"

"Crap. I hate these machines that face the mirror. Where do I look? I don't want to stare at myself, oh excuse me, my form. But I don't want to be the girl looking at everyone else, nor do I want to watch whatever is on tv. Hmm the treadmill screen, now that's riveting!... Checking heart rate.... 170?! I'm only speedwalking at 3.5 mph! Ok that's why I'm here."

"Ok 15 minutes of cardio... now where is the weight room... Uh I'll just walk upstairs. Could there be more people? Sheesh!"

"Alright, weights. I'm good at weights... but where do I start?"

"Time for some free weights. Mm yeah not that sissy stuff!.... Ok where are the lighter ones?..... Oh excuse me huge buff men, I'm looking for those little weights over there, don't mind me... 17.5 lb, yeah that should be ok..."

"Ow ow ow.... ok maybe it's just a tad too heavy. 12 lbs. much better..."

"Hmmm my arms are shaking and my face looks pained. I look like a weakling. No one mind me as I go ahead and grab the 7.5 lb. weight. Ugh I feel like this:

"Hehe spongebob... that guy just looked at you funny--stop laughing to yourself!"

"Well that was a good workout, I'll just go over here and do some inclined crunches.... Alright, how do I get on this thing? Ok inconspicuously look at the lady next to you... Don't mind me if I wobble around on this thing trying to insert my legs and feet into random equipment. Well, I'm committed, can't walk away now. 5 crunches sounds great. I'm done!"