Midnight philosophical ramblings

And once again... I'm up late. Tonight I'm laying next to our fireplace. One of the ones that you use a switch to turn on. Lazy, yes, but lovely. I was thinking about life and how much I value my relationships, which I've been appreciating more and more lately, and I had to write them to share with all of you. Take them for what they're worth. And now a tablespoon or perhaps a liter of Jenny wisdom, depending on what you take from this. (Wow, long intro...)

First observation (O1): Love makes us feel good.

Response: Why does it make us feel good? When we receive love what is happening? It has to be more than a warm fuzzy meaningless reason.

O2: The foundation of love is acceptance.

Response: Everyone has insecurities. EVERYONE. (Except Jesus, for you smart alecks) One of the main insecurities and fears of people is the fear of rejection. This is why public speaking is the #1 American fear, why girls travel in packs, why peer pressure is so effective, why people date and marry people who are less than they deserve.... you get the picture. Big problem, for many of us this is probably the central insecurity we hold. Someone must accept us before they love us. The act of acceptance becomes the door for love--to accept someone you open the door to the possibility of a relationship. ....(like "accepting" Christ)

O3: Acceptance gives us permission to lower our walls.

Response: Acceptance gives someone a nod of approval that allows them to exhale and start to lower walls of defense and insecurity. When someone accepts us we feel better about ourselves because it affirms that yes, we're ok. It's the first step to growing and becoming who we are because it provides us safety and room to do that in. My thesaurus lists these synonyms for accept: welcome, greet, receive, receive favorably, embrace, adopt.

O4: Some loves are more than acceptance.

Response:
a) So love in its common forms of friendship (philia) and affection (storge) seem to be comfortable I-accept-you-as-you-are-and-care-about-you kinds of loves. That doesn't mean that those loves are not deep because they certainly can be, but they are different from eros and charity (agape) love.

b) Eros love involves acceptance, of course, but more than that there is excitement! The excitement comes from sexuality yes, but also there's a reciprocal excitement about the other person. Because more than just accepting the other person, one is ecstatic about who that other person is! Rather than a comfortable hug, eros is a passionate embrace.

c) Finally agape, (C.S. Lewis called this the greatest love and I agree) it is sort of like eros love except for this love has a one-sided excitement. The lover loves with enthusiasm, passion, and even fury, but the loved often does not have any qualities for which would make it loveable or worthy of love; nevertheless, the lover loves the loved without any self-interest or ulterior motive. This love is mysterious and, I believe, can only be developed in us as a gift from the Holy Spirit. Because this is a unique love that can only be truly understood when we meet the One who has loved us ardently since the beginning.

Conclusion: We are unlovely people, but God loves us* in our unloveliness and massive insecurities and that love makes us lovely. More than the acceptance of other people that takes away some of the reality** of our insecurities and the love of others that makes us feel safe and valuable, there is this greater Love that overshadows them all. This Love wants to take those insecurities forever and fill us instead with himself until we overflow with joy, beauty, confidence, peace, and freedom.

In a nutshell, let me quote DCTalk, "We all wanna be loved. Tell me what's wrong with that? Ooo somebody tell me"

See..........ROMANS 15:7





*There seems to be sort of a difference between love and acceptance for God because he has always loved his people, but until Jesus' sacrifice we were not always "acceptable" to him (http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/?search=accept&version1=31&searchtype=all&limit=none&wholewordsonly=no).
**I use the word reality because the insecurities still remain in human relationships, but often acceptance and love decrease the perceived reality of them.