Juanita

Meet Grandma...














This is her with the wonderful man who was her husband and love of her life for 60 years.


This woman is amazing. Probably the greatest woman I will ever personally know during my life on earth. Everytime I leave her house I am filled with the warmth of home, real home, and a deep profound thankfulness that moves me to cry and pray. I know I can't do that much for her these days and she's always a servant and how do you serve someone who always strives to serve you? With the passing of her husband, and this week her best friend. I just wish I could be more for her, give her some of what she has given me my whole life. The only thing I can think of that I can give her in that way is to allow her prayers for me to find a wonderful godly husband to reach fruition. I hope and pray she will see me marry a man that about whom she will remark, "yep, he's the one!" Time and my willingness to have faith and wait for better seem to be the only limits.

To my friends:

Thank you.

You are amazing.

A day (my fave holiday) to celebrate you coming soon... 2.14.07...

Thus, as per my tradition send me your addresses soon.

i see things upside down...

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin.

I do not understand what I do.

For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that good itself does NOT dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For....

I have the...

...desire...

to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do--

...THIS...

I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So...

I find this law at work: Although I want to do good,
evil is
....right
.........there
..............with me.

For in my inner being I.... delight!..... in God's law; but I see another law at work in me....

.....................waging war against the law of my mind and

...............making me a prisoner

.........of the law of sin at work with in me.

What a wretched woman I am!

My will is in conflict between the two laws.


My will.


My will??

Surrender.

Neck exposed, head pulled back over an altar. The knife just a breath away as the sacrifice whinces in anxiety.

The deliverer,

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners...

...to bestow on them a

crown of beauty.....
......instead of ashes,

the oil of joy......
.....instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise.....
....instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called mighty oaks,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.
The will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations."

And so everything is upside down here, none of it makes sense to the outside. But this way--this upside down kingdom--is the only way to live sensibly.